...This has got to stop, no doubt about that, still, though, until there is some real sign of life at the other end, until I can hear her voice recognize his and exclaim some potent form of happiness if not genuine excitement, then maybe the dysfunctional relationship that seems to be at the core of this dilemma will never be resolved and the loose ends will stray further into the braided void that twists my life so arbitrarily. When I think about it, about what my life is, what it has become, an infinitesimal knot of redoubled energy constantly in conflict with itself so as to motivate my body toward a clever entanglement of mobility with some other molecular model of insufferable desire (one that seems at once necessary and futile)...